Be thou my vision...
*sigh*
How often in my life to I lose sight of God? How often do I not let Him be my vision, and let Him be my everything...I am so selfish, so self-centerd, so focused on other things. I get caught up in the moment and don't pay attention to anything eles but what is there in the moment. I don't do the things I should, I don't do what I know is right, nor what I know I am supposed to be. Then I scream at the top of my lungs, "God where are you?" When He isn't the one who really left. It was me. I am the one who left, and turned my back on Him. This happened recently in a relationship with a dear friend, I didn't move, I'm standing in the same place with open arms, but no matter how far I chase her, it just causes her to push away more, and cause me more pain. I finally had to tell her that I am here waiting w/ open arms. How often do I do that to God. He is standing there watching me do things I shouldn't or moving away from Him, and He isn't the one who has moved when I get lost, and try to blame Him. Its my own fault, and the emince pain that must cause Him has moved me to tears, because now I understand it. Watching someone you love so much, move away from you (both literally and figuratively) and only she is the one who can turn back. She is the one who left and you are stuck, you physicaly can't do anything to bring her back, all you can do is wait and pray for her to see the way, and make it back safely. Lord for all the time's I have done this to you I am truly sorry. Help me to do it no more and help me to serve you and see you always as the Lord of my life in everything I do and see. Praise you Lord for who you are and what you have done for me. You are amazing Lord. Thank you! I love you, and want to serve you more.
Ash