So the last week has been insane!

The past week has been crazy and fun!

Monday 2/14:

My hubby and I had a quiet dinner at home and went out for froyo together with our little one. I had the most amazing roses and we exchanged cards. We also stopped by my parents to see my uncle who had flown in the previous night from South Dakota.

Tuesday 2/15:

Life group! We had a new couple and are super excited to have them join our group!

Wednesday 2/16:

My work day, at the church until 8:30, then home and getting the little one to bed.

Thursday 2/17:

Went to my parents strait after work as my Aunt had flown in from South Dakota the previous night and spent the evening with family. We didn't leave until after 9pm

Friday 2/18:

Ran errands, and hung out with my family all day. Aunt and Uncle from Seattle flew in, and so ALL of my dad's siblings w/ their respective spouse and parents were all staying at my parents house. So the hanging out went late into the night.

Saturday 2/19:

Went to my brother's big basketball game, and MAN was it a GREAT game. We beat the undefeated team in our league. We haven't beaten them for the last 6 years, and it was a HUGE upset. The game was SO loud I had to take the little man out to the lobby because he couldn't take the noise. We then got home at 1am

Sunday 2/20:

I left for work at 7, and Max was getting dedicated (pictures to come). So we had TONS of family, and I was also working so it was insane. The pastor (my boss) who married us, pronounced our last name wrong! I so though I was over that when I got married to an "easy" last name but apparently not. lol.

Monday 2/21:

Matt and I had the day off together! First one in like a month and for the next month. We spent it apartment shopping as our lease is up at the end of next month. If we want to give a 3o day notice we have until next monday to do so. It was a long and stressful day, ending w/ dinner at my parents again.

Basically we spent the whole week w/ family at my parents and got home late and totally messed up our poor little man's sleeping pattern. :( Hopefully we will get it back on track this week. I have tons to blog about, and lots of pictures, once they get loaded/ I get them from others.

We all need love from different places

I don't want to bum anyone out on Valentine's Day, but this is where my heart is, and I feel like I just need to pour it out. I really don't want to guilt trip anyone (that seriously is NOT what this is about), I don't want to be "that girl" who stirs things up. I just need to say what is on my heart.

I am lonely. I feel isolated. I feel like the only people I can talk to are Matt and my mom.

I have still yet to make some good friends out here in the desert. I wrote the linked to post a year ago, and it is still true to this day, except it is worse. I no do not have that life group.

Last year, Matt and I decided to start a new life group. Ours was getting really full, and we felt like starting a new one would be the right thing to do, also with the coming child, we figured having a group at our place would be easier than me getting off work, packing up the baby, grabbing fast food on the way, driving 25-30 min, staying for 1.5-2.5 hours and coming back home late. The only problem is we have a group of flakes. Of our only 4 meetings 2x's no one has shown up. The other 2x's there was me, Matt, and one other person (a different one each time). So no life group to connect with. We are still building, and supposedly, we are getting a new couple tonight. What sucks is that I have to hear about lunch plans/girls nights/other fun things that our old life group is doing but I am not a part of. It just sucks.

Also, many of my friends have made/suggested plans but they are never followed through on. Usually it is something that I should not be a part of planning (say something like a baby shower/birthday celebration type of thing), so it isn't my place to push it. Or I try and make plans, but the other person is unresponsive/busy/life happens etc. So I feel like I really am putting out an effort, but I've got nothing.

Phone calls/IM/Facebook ect, can only do so much. I need a coffee talking friend. Someone who I can still down and we can pour our hearts out to each other. Someone who I can actually tell things to and it wont go any further than their ears. A kindred spirit who I can do a old movie night with, and talk about life. A shopping partner, a walking buddy, another mommy who can understand why you sometimes smell like sour milk. I don't even have to have all of these things in one, I will take different people to fill these spots. The problem is, I currently have all of them open, and my poor hubby can only watch so many musicals, and can only walk around the mall so many times.

All of this is augmented by stupid postpartum "baby blues" and going back to work. Oh ya, work. New position, = new people = no relationships yet = no connections.

So bottom line, with in the few months, I have had a baby, lost my life group, lost my ministry (and all of the people I connected with), gone back to work and the "new"life group and ministry I have no connections with.

On top of the fact that I STILL don't have good friends in the desert.

I am lonely. I love my hubby and family and don't "need" friends but at the same time, I really do.

5 years ago today, I cancelled...

Exactly 5 years ago, I was a sophomore at Biola University. I had spent the last 11 months single, and loving developing relationships with my friends. Many of these relationships are still important to me today. 5 years ago I had a planed trip to Disneyland with a fellow classmate/major friend (Major as in college degree not anything more than that, at least not yet..). I had a pass, and he had recently gotten one, and we talked about getting a group together and going one day...

The day was a friday (my no class day) and I was enjoying late lunch with some friends when we got a phone call that one of our floor mates was in the ER again, and really needed some support. We all ran back to our rooms, packed up a few waiting room essentials, and hoped in the car. As we were pulling off campus, I made a phone call and left a message for the friend I was supposed to meet, explaining that I was not going to make it because I needed to support a friend in the hospital and we could reschedule. It was less than 1/2 an hour before I was supposed to meet him. I felt horrible for canceling, I remember siting in the back of my roommates car having this, "I should go" feeling. Then as we were a few blocks from campus I we got a call saying she was going to be released in an hour and there was no reason to come over. We turned around, and I left another voicemail un-canceling the Disney trip w/ my friend.

That Disneyland trip is my most significant ever. The part was practically empty, we went on a ton of rides MULTIPLE times together. The first time we went on the matterhorn, the castmember forgot to ask "together or separate" (something that to this day, has never happened to me again), and placed us in the coster together. We talked, had fun, and somewhere along the way, it turned into flirting. I am in no way a flirt, but it felt so natural, so fun. It lead to lots of "lobby dwelling" with friends....

Which then 4 years ago today, lead to a Disney proposal in front of the castle right before the firework show. (I know its lame, but it was my total dream.)

Which finally after a ridiculously long engagement, 2.5 years later lead to our wedding,

and now a full fledged family.

I am so thankful I didn't cancel that Disney trip. I totally had placed Matt in the "friend only box", I am so thankful that that trip allowed me to let him out and see how perfect we were for each other. Because of the way it happened, I have always held true to the fact that our relationship is the result of the famous "Disney Magic". (OK, so I know that isn't REALLY true, but hey, it makes it a more fun story). With valentines day just a few short days way, I love that I can look back this time of year, and remember how we fell in love and the crazy wonderful journey we have started together. I can't wait to see where the next many years lead.

This picture made me cry...

How can this picture make me cry? Well it is very simple. 3 years ago when I was in Kenya, we visited the smallest home I have ever seen. A king bed would not have even fit in it, that was how small it was. The four of us visiting could not even all fit inside it. The woman who lived there had 2 young children and a new infant. She had no food, no way to provide milk for her baby, because she was HIV positive. She could not get any of the help she so desperately needed. We brought her a backpack full of food, some meat, mostly rice and beans with some local greenery. She was sick at the time. Honestly it felt like she had given up hope. But that is why we were there, to give her hope, to come along side of her and encourage her. To give her and her children a chance.

Today, on Christ's Hope International (the ministry we went with, who supports these people all year long) had this picture on their blog. I recognized her instantly, her face was not one I would easily forget. Except now, she has hope in her eyes, a sense of self worth that was not there 3 years ago. The child she is holding, I am assuming was the baby we saw, is healthy and alive. I want to go back. I want to see these lives so drastically changed for the better. Isn't it amazing what a little food, and love can do to a person. I wish I had a picture of her from 3 years ago to show you the difference, but we were not allowed to take pictures on our home visits out of respect for those we were visiting. Trust me when I tell you that this is a whole new woman, and this ministry is making a tangible difference.

Edit: Apologies the picture didn't post, it was there when I checked it yesterday, then this morning it wasn't working. I fixed it.

How in the world?

I am going to give you all the opportunity, to guess how this happened to my rear wiper. If you notice in the picture below, it is bent at the end. I will obviously have to replace it, but how do you think this happened?

Ridiculous!

I'm sorry but I find this really dumb. (Sorry for the bad photo, I couldn't stop moving or I would have had a crying child). I was at the mall this past week with a friend, enjoying dinner and strolling (that word seems so much more appropriate when you are actually using a stroller tee hee hee). Sorry, back to the point. What mall puts flowers on their tables? I mean seriously, who waters these babies? How many of them walk off each day? The food court looked like a flower shop, not a mall food court. While I appreciate the ascetic value that flowers bring, I would much rather the money be spent on giving discounts to retailers so they can give bigger discounts to me. I mean, as much as I love flowers and as pretty as they are, is this really necessary? Nope, I personally deem it ridiculous. Also, we heard a rumor that the only reason they were out was that the Westfield powers to be were in the area, and may pop by for a visit. Which may make it more understandable, but never the less it is still ridiculous!