It is well with my soul

I love this hymn. I am praying that it rings true in my heart in all of this transition and turmoil happening in my life right now. It is still hard. My heart still hurts, and I know that it is ok, but I want it to not. I want it to be fine. I want to fully be where God has put me and serve where He has me with my full heart. I am truly trying even though it is hard. If you have never sung this song before read it, if you want to know the tune and really cool history behind it, go here. Here are the lyrics in my head (and hopefully heart) today:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,

When sorrows like sea billows roll;

Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,

It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain

It is well, with my soul,

It is well, with my soul,

It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,

Let this blest assurance control,

That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,

And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

Refrain

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!

My sin, not in part but the whole,

Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,

Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

Refrain

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:

If Jordan above me shall roll,

No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life

Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

Refrain

But, Lord, ‘tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,

The sky, not the grave, is our goal;

Oh trump of the angel! Oh voice of the Lord!

Blessèd hope, blessèd rest of my soul!

Refrain

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,

The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;

The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,

Even so, it is well with my soul.

Refrain

The little man

Isn't he just the cutest thing EVER! I can't believe how big he is getting. It's CRAZY! I'm one blessed lady!

I have to brag on my little brother again...

My amazing younger (but not so little at 6'9'' almost 6'10''), got a double double on Tuesday's basketball game. If you don't know what a double double is, it is not a type of burger, it means you hit the double digits in two of the "stats" usually points and rebounds but it could also include assists or steals. My little bro got 18 points and 11 rebounds! I am SOO bummed that I missed this game, but I am very proud of him! You can check out the awesome details and sweet picture here. Keep it up little bro! Hopefully I will get to see you play one of these days again soon.

My sweet baby

Dear Son,

I love you very much. Since you have come into my life, my world has completely changed. I love watching you smile and trying to talk. It is absolutely adorable and melts my heart every time. However, you are now 2 months old and while we FINALLY have you sleeping most of the night in your crib, your very sleep deprived mother and father would greatly appreciate you sleeping LONGER. I now have to go to work, and while I miss you when I am gone, I really need to show up at work with out looking half asleep. Thank you my sweet baby boy.

Love,

Your mommy

My bro's sweet pass to a dunk

So at this game, my brother got an assist to this sweet dunk. The angle isn't the greatest but it is a really cool play, check it out! Have you ever seen a bounce pass = an ally-oop dunk? Well here you can! BTW it was way awesome live, and the fan in the stands w/ both hands in the air afterwards, totally me! lol go little bro!

This past week, just wow

So this last week was absolutely insane. Honestly, something happened that I never thought would happen in a million years, something that caused the entire week to be emotional on top of having a fever for 2-3 days. Here is the play by play:

Monday: The day was low key as I am still on maternity leave we made a list to go grocery shopping for the week. We didn't make it shopping as my dad ended up picking up my grandma's old couch for us and brought it over. (Score free, awesome couch w/ a pull out bed!). This couch is much nicer than the other two we have, (both are at least 20 years old, but hey they were free). By the time that happened, we didn't have time to go shopping because I had a meeting at work at 4pm to discuss my return from maternity leave as this was to be my last week at home before returning to work. It was in that meeting that the week became emotional. I was told that there were many changes while I was off, one being that my old boss was coming in as the "Family Ministries Coach" to help children's and youth come together and develop us in each of our own ministries. AWESOME! This is something that has been so needed. Then the other shoe dropped. It started w/ letting me know that my salary was staying the same and that again the entire staff was not getting a cost of living raise. (This is the third year that this has happened). Again it was reiterated that my salary was staying the same, but then I was told my job was changing. When I returned from maternity leave, I would no longer be the Pastor of Children's Ministries. The board has requested that I transition into leading Early Childhood only, and become the Pastor of Early Childhood. Lets just say I let them know that I was willing to take the new position and left it at that. I was told to process and come in if I needed more questions/clarifications etc. I left feeling pretty much ok.

Tuesday: 3am, I couldn't sleep. I finally at 5am went downstairs to journal and pray. How could this be happening to me again? Was this the first step towards leaving Desert Springs? I came to the prayerful conclusion that I am a servant of the Lord, and I will serve where he calls me and where he places me with a happy heart. Even though I had this peace from the Lord, my flesh raced with negativity. It brought me back to what happened 3 years ago nearly to the day. (Long story short, I was a nursery coordinator at a church and got completely blindsided and fired. They hired a girl I had meet in NOVEMBER in my place. They knew they wanted to hire her that whole time, for two months it was planned and I had no knowledge or clue about it). So my head is going, November I left and now in January I'm "transitioning" positions to one very similar to the one I was fired from 3 years previously. All of this is going on in my head and it was just a lot to process. I went into work at 9 because there was a Family Ministry Team meeting and I wanted to be apart of it so I wasn't so behind when I started next week. It was good, I got some questions answered but not all and more questions were raised. Because it was Tuesday we got to see my brothers awesome basketball game! (Go Eagles! Biola won!). The drive my mom of course asked me how my meeting went the previous day so I had to spill the beans. My parents love me and my dad has been burned in ministry so needless to say he was concerned. The game was great, and my bro had an amazing pass (there is youtube video that I will post later). I was exhausted as I was up for 22 hours strait as we didn't get home till 12 and I was up since 3 am.

Wednesday: The shopping finally happened. At 3pm Matt and I went in to talk with my Senior Pastor and boss. We wrote out a ton of questions an points/feelings that I wanted to make sure to get across. An hour and a half later I walked out feeling 1 million times better. As hard as it is going to be transitioning into this new position and not getting to have time to say good bye to my older kids, it is what is best for me and the church. I am not being pushed out, but placed in a position that major leadership and revamping is needed.

Thursday: I wasn't feeling great, but we got some stuff done around the house and attempted to prepare it for the fact that we are going to be having a life group meeting starting next Tuesday each week in our living room. Then I got to take a long shower and spend some time getting ready because I had a hot date. My hubby and I had a gift card for a fancy restaurant and my parents were gonna watch the little man for us. It was our first date night since the baby and were were so excited! The food was amazing, and Matt and I got to connect, It was awesome. Then something not so awesome happened. Aunt flo came to visit. I'm breastfeeding and had a baby two months ago, REALLY?!?! *sigh, followed by massive cramping and fever. The fever however was from my sore throat which had been around a few days and been getting worse. Great way to end a fabulous date night right?

Friday: Me = fever. The whole day we did nothing. I tried to get better. I was hot and cold and miserable all day long. I even had to call and cancel going to my brother's big basketball game. They played the undefeated team in their league (they lost, :( but i heard it was close for a good part of it. I ended up sleeping part of the night on the couch because it was too hot in bed w/ the baby and my hubby.

Saturday: I had the baby all day by myself. I was feeling slightly better. All I really wanted was a nap. However my little man decided he wanted to be held, rocked and walked around all day. By the time I finally got him to sleep on me it was 4pm, then my dad called. Matt got home at 4:30 and we were supposed to be at my parents at 5 for dinner to celebrate my brother and my mom's bday's. It was a nice family meal and we headed home earlier than usual and were in bed by 8:30. Both exhausted and me still recovering from being sick.

Today: Church, then hang out at my parents house. My bro and his girlfriend are still here and we are just chilling and enjoying a Sunday afternoon in the desert. We had lunch outside in the beautiful 80 degree sunshine. It was awesome. I love the desert.

In all, it was an emotional week. I really am fine w/ my new position at church. It will be a good thing for me, it is just going to take some adjusting and working through the emotions. All in all Life is good and God is great.

Health Care RANT

I hate insurances.

So my sweet boy had a really hard time breathing all night long last night. He didn't sleep well (so neither did mom or dad), and was obviously not feeling well. Then this morning he started to cough, and was still having difficult breathing. So I figured that this morning I would take him to an urgent care just so we could get checked out to make sure that there wasn't anything in his lungs. As someone who has asthma, I know how bad and how quick congestion can turn into something serious.

After calling/stopping by 4 urgent cares to find out NONE of them took my insurance and the one that did, doesn't take infants, my only option was to take him to the ER. SERIOUSLY! This wasn't an emergency, this was a mommy wanting to make sure her little man could breath ok and get checked out super quick by a doctor. Its not like he couldn't breath, or really needed to be in the ER, but if I wanted to see a Dr that was covered by my insurance that was my option on a Sunday morning. So we went to the ER paid our $15 co-pay, and got checked by the Dr. The little one is fine, just bad congestion :( we still need to keep an eye on it, but he should be ok.

My point: How is it in ANYONES best interest to be forced to take up room and time in an emergency room w/ a case of the sniffles? My little one just needed to be checked out to make sure he didn't have congestion in his lungs. I think that it is absolutely ridiculous that the health care system is that screwed up. Out of pocket cost for me at an ER = $15 for insurance at least 250. Out of pocket cost for me at an Urgent care = $100-$250 and I'm sure in total cheaper for the insurance company. No wonder health care is so screwed up in this country. I totally don't agree w/ "Obama care" but I do say there is a better way to do this health insurance thing.

An attempt at organization

I have mild OCD. when I clean, I CLEAN. If I cant clean to my standards, I don't bother because I just get frustrated and drive myself crazy. I am an black or white person. Things are either perfectly in place and i care a great deal and it has to be perfect, OR I have to choose to not care and ignore it. *sigh. It's really frustrating. I can't half clean because I leave it half undone. I never have the time to completely clean everything at once. It is something that I am working on. I found this really cool website that I think will help me get and stay organized. Its called fly lady. Here are the "11 commandments" to help you stay organized.

There is also a 30 day plan to slowly organize your house and get into a habit/routine to keep it that way. I would really like to try this, and organize my life and home better, but we will see. With the baby my house has become complete CHAOS or as the fly lady says "Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome". Which is challenging because people want to come over and the baby. I really need to be more on top of my house as we are going to be hosting a life group starting in a few weeks as well as resuming game nights soon.

The question remains, is it possible for me to organize my home/life and keep it that way? Stay tuned as I attempt this feat.

Can you edit Mark Twain?

In recent news there is a heated debate about a new version of Twain (Mark Twain that is) coming out next month. Professor Alan Gribben has edited two of Twain's most beloved works to make them less controversial. "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer" and "Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" you will now be able to read without the words "nigger" (which has been translated to "slave") or "Injun" (which has been translated to "Indian"). This is so that the books can be more accessible for younger readers and those who would be offended by the language. It seems that this may take these books off of some public school ban lists.

Now, I understand that these words have a TON of history, emotion and controversy behind them. These books were written in a way that is true to the time they were set in. Because society has changed it is supposed to invoke history, emotion and controversy. You can't keep this book pure and the authors true meaning by getting rid of these words. I think that the people who want to censor these books from public schools because they are "offensive", should look at their own child's music library, video games, TV shows and movie collection. I am sure that many of the things you would find in any of these categories of a typical teen are far worse than a few offensive words in a classic literary work.

The argument goes beyond the works being deemed "offensive" by some. If kids can't learn from history, and past mistakes as are clearly shown in these types of books then how are they going to learn. These stories should lead towards academic discussions about how wrong society used to be, and how far we have come socially as a nation. Changing the "N word" for "slave" will not evoke the same emotion and disgust in today's reader and will overall diminish their reading experience of these great works as well as their impression of what America was like during this time period.

All literary works should be left alone, they are pictures of another world that the author has left for us. While these words are not appropriate to use in today's society. If you black out one color in a beautiful picture, the picture is ruined, and will not be the same. Just look at the first picture below.

Then compare it to this second "censored" photo.

The second photo, is clearly less than the beauty captured with the camera. And so it is with books, changing just a few words will destroy its original beauty.

Where's Max?

Where is Max?

My hubby really doesn't like pictures. He doesn't like taking them or being in them. He also rolls his eyes every time I try and take pictures of the little man or set it up that way. I really love him a ton but pictures are not his thing. However, I think he is starting to have a change of heart. He didn't protest to us purchasing a video camera for the baby and spent and afternoon shopping with me. He also SUGGESTED this picture set up and thought it would be cute, and willingly PLACED and ARRANGED the baby w/ the stuffed animals. My hubby is growing! I think he is also humoring me. Either way, I am happy he is participating in making memories and cute pics of our little man!

Family Photo's

We did a family photo shoot with the fantastic Katie McGihon when our little man was just 3 weeks old. It's hard to believe how much he has grown since then! But here are a few of my favorite shots.

Here is my sweet non-camera shy guy

Seriously, look at this guy holding his neck up, ready to explore the world!

My two amazing men. Matt is truly an amazing dad!

Kisses from mommy!

The Medina's in 2010

1st post of the new year

A new year, a fresh start.

Here is a cute pic of the little man (more to come tomorrow!)

I am so excited for this year. So many firsts for the little man, so many firsts for us as a family. So many new and exciting things ahead of us. I can't wait to see what the new year brings. Many your new year truly be bright and full of hope.