I know I don't write like I should...

So much has happened in my life. God is stretching me so much right now, its to a point where I feel like I'm going to snap. I am so thankful for Matt, I know he feels so helpless in this situation right now. I am so thankful that he will sit next to me, hold me and then pray for me. What a huge blessing in my life. I sit here with my cup of noodles, wondering how and when God is going to provide for me. I know He will, its not a question of that, it is when and how. It also is a matter of will I let Him. I am so proud, I hate admitting I need help. I hate admitting that if I don't find a second job or a better one soon, I will be forced to move home and live with my parents. I will be forced to make a new life for myself back where I grew up and will be far away from the people i love who support me the most. I don't know if that's God's plan... to force me to move home. Or if He just wants me to trust him. I'm so mixed right now, and I'm so ... *le sighhhhhhhh* I have no idea what is going on and I'm just trusting and praying and praying and trusting and I"m not sure what He will do, which is always scary. Please pray for me, as God is pulling me and molding me and I feel as if I am barely holding on. Yet I know that He will be there to catch me if I can't.