We all need love from different places

I don't want to bum anyone out on Valentine's Day, but this is where my heart is, and I feel like I just need to pour it out. I really don't want to guilt trip anyone (that seriously is NOT what this is about), I don't want to be "that girl" who stirs things up. I just need to say what is on my heart.

I am lonely. I feel isolated. I feel like the only people I can talk to are Matt and my mom.

I have still yet to make some good friends out here in the desert. I wrote the linked to post a year ago, and it is still true to this day, except it is worse. I no do not have that life group.

Last year, Matt and I decided to start a new life group. Ours was getting really full, and we felt like starting a new one would be the right thing to do, also with the coming child, we figured having a group at our place would be easier than me getting off work, packing up the baby, grabbing fast food on the way, driving 25-30 min, staying for 1.5-2.5 hours and coming back home late. The only problem is we have a group of flakes. Of our only 4 meetings 2x's no one has shown up. The other 2x's there was me, Matt, and one other person (a different one each time). So no life group to connect with. We are still building, and supposedly, we are getting a new couple tonight. What sucks is that I have to hear about lunch plans/girls nights/other fun things that our old life group is doing but I am not a part of. It just sucks.

Also, many of my friends have made/suggested plans but they are never followed through on. Usually it is something that I should not be a part of planning (say something like a baby shower/birthday celebration type of thing), so it isn't my place to push it. Or I try and make plans, but the other person is unresponsive/busy/life happens etc. So I feel like I really am putting out an effort, but I've got nothing.

Phone calls/IM/Facebook ect, can only do so much. I need a coffee talking friend. Someone who I can still down and we can pour our hearts out to each other. Someone who I can actually tell things to and it wont go any further than their ears. A kindred spirit who I can do a old movie night with, and talk about life. A shopping partner, a walking buddy, another mommy who can understand why you sometimes smell like sour milk. I don't even have to have all of these things in one, I will take different people to fill these spots. The problem is, I currently have all of them open, and my poor hubby can only watch so many musicals, and can only walk around the mall so many times.

All of this is augmented by stupid postpartum "baby blues" and going back to work. Oh ya, work. New position, = new people = no relationships yet = no connections.

So bottom line, with in the few months, I have had a baby, lost my life group, lost my ministry (and all of the people I connected with), gone back to work and the "new"life group and ministry I have no connections with.

On top of the fact that I STILL don't have good friends in the desert.

I am lonely. I love my hubby and family and don't "need" friends but at the same time, I really do.