Warning, way random, changes directions 3ish times... sry just me. :)
So I was looking at a few friends pictures recently, whom shall remain nameless, and I found myself coveting their lifestyle. It's not that I want their stuff, its not my "style", I just want the ability to take a romantic weekend away with my husband. I mean, we are newly weds, aren't we supposed to spend the first year of marriage fritting about and taking a few long weekends, enjoying us? I see people getting bigger places, and look at my crammed one bedroom apartment, overflowing STILL with unpacked boxes, wishing it were a two bedroom. I see people buying new furniture, and I look at the two couches, and dinning room set Matt and I have, all free, all older than we are. I see people planing vacations, and I'm looking at our bank account trying to figure out what two people could do for less than $400 if we can even save that much. I'm not saying all of this to have a pity party or to try and make people feel sorry for me. I honestly am so very thankful that Matt and I have all we do. We took a total leap of faith when we got married with no job security because it was what God called us to, I just want more...
I feel guilty for wanting more. Whenever I get like this, I look at the pictures I have from Kenya. Of people who have literally nothing. I am reminded that I really should be thankful. God has blessed me with an amazing husband, who loves me and would do nearly anything to make me happy. I job, that I LOVE serving in a local church teaching Jesus to kids. I have so much to be thankful for, it is sometimes hard for me to not secretly want a new wardrobe, to be able to go out to a nice dinner with my husband, to be able to fix our car and put money in our savings account.
For now, this is where God has us, and I am reminded to be thankful for all I have, to be joyful for those who have more, and to pray for those who need more.
2 comments:
Ashley- Sean and I totally understand and know that feeling. Even though we live in a bigger place, there are so many things we want, but can't afford. It is so hard to be content when there are so many things we saw for ourselves before we got married. At the times it gets hard, I have to look to God and realize it is all in His timing and not mine! That is hard to understand! :( We love you guys and totally feel for where you are at!
Suzy, it's always nice to know that your not alone in what your feeling. Thanks!
Post a Comment