A new chapter

As I sit here in Panera composing this blog, it is hard for me to sit still.  I now have an extra day off each week as my hours at work have been cut.  This is in no way easy for a person who is usually active and leads a full life.  It is not mearly the loss of income that has affected me, but the loss of career growth.  Since returning from maternity leave nearly a year ago, my work has not been the same.  It is frustrating, because I LOVE my job.  Honestly, even with all of the changes in the past 10 months, I still get great joy out of ministering to children and families.  This is my full time calling, and passion.  I also have a passion to train others to do so, even more effectively than myself.  Now, I must stomach the fact that it is no longer a "full time" position.  I woke up at 5 am this morning, thinking of all of the things still left undone at work.  Unable to complete my tasks in the allotted time.  How can they expect the same level and amount of work (and even then some) from me by taking away 8 precious hours of preparation time?  When I was "full time" I nearly always worked 40+ hours.  The last and first week of the month are always my busiest due to scheduling the next month, wrapping up the past month and a once per month event.  It kills me that things are undone at work and I feel guilty about slaking off in serving God.  Yet, I must honor these new time boundaries placed on me, and demonstrate that it is not possible to do the level of ministry I have been doing with less hours.  Praying that the powers to be will see that those hours are needed, and perhaps at some point, they will return to me.

In the mean time, we are faced with a rather serious income drop.  20% of my income is gone, which is the stable, bread winning income of our family.  I am face with a few options.  Attempting to Substitute teach a few days a week, craft things and attempt to sell them on etsy, work my blogs up to a point where they an generate some income via advertisements etc. or start a new side business.  At this point, I am unsure of what to do.  I am hesitant to go back to subbing, fearing that I will be tempted to complete my credential (2, maybe 3 quarters left) and leave ministry.  I know that God has called me to minister to children, and feel strongly of his calling is in the local church right now.  I don't wish to be tempted by a good paycheck, and "easier" job.  I know teaching isn't easy, but it is WAY easier than being in ministry.  I think I will leave that option towards the end, only if my husband and I really get stuck for money.

I would like to explore other creative avenues.  I have never had time to actually put into any of my creative endeavors.  I have always had things in my way.  For example, I have always wanted to write a book.  I used to fill up journals with short stories, creative tales and whimsical characters.  I have wanted for the past 5 years to participate in National Novel Writing Month, which happens each November, the goal to write 50,000 words in the month of a new story.  The first two years I was in college, and let's face it, that is a horrible idea near the end of the semester.  The next year, I was doing grad work towards my teaching credential and Masters, as well as working full time.  The next year, I had no excuse, other than I totally forgot, and was enjoying newlywed bliss.  Last year, I was due 11/13 and at first though I could do most if it while on maternity leave.  I had a sweet friend remind me that I should not plan to do anything, but bond with my baby.  Good call.  However this year, not only do I not have an excuse, I even have the help of an extra day.  I know its a crazy dream to write, and actually make any money doing so, but honestly, I am doing this for me as a creative outlet and if it goes beyond that to help support my family, awesome.  If not, then I feel this outlet will help make me a better wife and mom, as I have actually done something for me.

I think I will also use some of the time to work on my house, and blogs, as well as craft and perhaps sell some of it on etsy and maybe make a few tutorials for youtube.  Long story short, I'm going to look at this situation as a blessing of time, rather than a demotion and pay cut.  I know that God will provide financially, as hard and difficult as it my be to make cuts to our already tight budget.  I am choosing to look at this as an opportunity, a new chapter in my life to dabble in things that make me happy, to encourage and surround my soul with beauty that I am normally to busy to see or experience.

I am so blessed to have a husband who is going to help make this work, by keeping our son in daycare full time. The biggest problem is if we take him out of full time, there is a wait list of at least 3 kids right now to take is spot.  There are also, no part time openings.  This daycare is a home daycare, and is AMAZING.  It is also the cheapest by far (we are talking by at least $500 per month), it would actually be more expensive for me to put him into another day care for 3 days a week rather than leaving him at this one full time.  This will also allow me the flexibility to start subbing at any time we need to again, or if I find another secondary position.  I am so thankful for his support in this, and am trying to come up with a way to at least make a little bit of money on the side to help out some more.

I would love for you to join me in prayer during the beginning of this new chapter in my life.  Pray that God would continue to provide for our family (as He always has), and that I would follow His lead on how to spend my bonus day to enrich my life and soul in a way I have never taken the time before.

Thank you dear friends.

Random update

Life has been flying by, I sincerely apologize to my readers (do I even have any left?) for not posting as often as I should. I'm starting to get my energy back and hopefully my blog will return to its normal postingness (and yes, it's my blog so I can make up words like that).

My office at work has been under construction for over a month. My desk is currently a folding table, all of my books, desk nicknacks, my pen cup, office supplies, and other essential things I keep on my desk for easy access, are currently buried on another table covered with a paint tarp. My door was moved, so where my door used to be, there is drywall sheets, unfinished. Where my new door is, well it was put on backwards because someone ordered the wrong door frame. So it is still unfinished and I have to wait another week or so for the right door fame so they can do more work, and flip the door. Then I have to wait for a custom build to happen for my desk, because now the shape of my office will not allow for us to just go out and buy one. There is a support pole in the middle of my office, that is part of the structural integrity of the whole building. So did I mention that this is my crazy season at work? Plus my slight OCD, (especially when it comes to my work spaces) = a very difficult to concentrate, slightly neurotic with surging prego hormones me. Such is life, and honestly when this is done, I'm going to totally make this office MINE, and do some fun and unique things to it. Something to look forward to...

In other news, I had my 12 week check-up yesterday. We got to hear the heart beat, which was nice and strong, and see the baby who is growing exactly the way he/she should be. The baby even jumped for us while we were trying to take its picture. It was what made the 2 hour wait worth it.

Have a great week everyone!

Morning Tea

Lately, the one thing that have been making my mornings, GREEN TEA. I wish that I had time, to sit down with a cup of tea, in a pretty cup and drink in my morning. However what actually happens is me pouring hot water into a travel mug with a tea bag, and letting it steep on the way to work. It has helped me focus in the morning, and ease into work a little bit better. I heart tea. What makes your morning better?

This weekend was a blur. I mean a complete and utter blur...

Friday:

My day off, I got to sleep in a bit, and then was not feeling well at all. I mean, not well at all. So I laid down most of the morning, with a home that I was supposed to be cleaning and work at work that I should have been doing. I had to go to work at 3 for our two Good Friday services. We did those, I ate, and then went to bed.

Saturday:

Still not feeing great, I attempted to clean, rested and then headed to work to finnish preparing for Easter. Matt had a friend over, we hung out and then went to dinner, and then I went to bed as I had to be up at 5:30 to be at work at 6:30am

Sunday:

Easter is always a busy day for me. We had 2 services and 94 kids from birth through 5th grade. For some churches that isn't very many, for me, it was double the previous week. I'm just bummed that most of them were out of town guests. Anyways I worked nonstop from 6:45-1pm, I didn't even get to take more than 3 sips of my starbucks that I got on the way to work. Then it was off to my parents house for Easter lunch. Matt's family came as well and in total there were twelve of us. We were there until 10:30 (as per usual with family gatherings) and had tons of fun.

It was a crazy weekend and I am still feeling so exhausted from it. Yet, it was a totally blessed weekend with some really fun things happening too. More on that later, for now back to life that is moving hundreds of miles an hour.

I currently can't see strait due to work overload...

Have you ever felt like this? That is how I feel, completely and utterly overwhelmed. Work is insane this week. On top of Easter (which is already insane), my office is having construction done on it, so I am office-less AND can’t get to all of the stuff I need to. AND we started construction on my building, which HAS to be done by Easter Sunday, AND we encountered some problems we don’t quite know how to solve. AND I’m launching a new program after Easter, which has to have finished curriculum. So just with work, I feel as if I’m drowning… AND trying to do everything else. It will get better, but as for now, back to it! I'm so glad I LOVE my job, or this would be 100x's worse!

I love my job

I honestly have the BEST job EVER!

the end (for now...)