There is something about...

As I sit here in Panera composing this blog, it is hard for me to sit still. I now have an extra day off each week as my hours at work have been cut. This is in no way easy for a person who is usually active and leads a full life. It is not mearly the loss of income that has affected me, but the loss of career growth. Since returning from maternity leave nearly a year ago, my work has not been the same. It is frustrating, because I LOVE my job. Honestly, even with all of the changes in the past 10 months, I still get great joy out of ministering to children and families. This is my full time calling, and passion. I also have a passion to train others to do so, even more effectively than myself. Now, I must stomach the fact that it is no longer a "full time" position. I woke up at 5 am this morning, thinking of all of the things still left undone at work. Unable to complete my tasks in the allotted time. How can they expect the same level and amount of work (and even then some) from me by taking away 8 precious hours of preparation time? When I was "full time" I nearly always worked 40+ hours. The last and first week of the month are always my busiest due to scheduling the next month, wrapping up the past month and a once per month event. It kills me that things are undone at work and I feel guilty about slaking off in serving God. Yet, I must honor these new time boundaries placed on me, and demonstrate that it is not possible to do the level of ministry I have been doing with less hours. Praying that the powers to be will see that those hours are needed, and perhaps at some point, they will return to me.

In the mean time, we are faced with a rather serious income drop. 20% of my income is gone, which is the stable, bread winning income of our family. I am face with a few options. Attempting to Substitute teach a few days a week, craft things and attempt to sell them on etsy, work my blogs up to a point where they an generate some income via advertisements etc. or start a new side business. At this point, I am unsure of what to do. I am hesitant to go back to subbing, fearing that I will be tempted to complete my credential (2, maybe 3 quarters left) and leave ministry. I know that God has called me to minister to children, and feel strongly of his calling is in the local church right now. I don't wish to be tempted by a good paycheck, and "easier" job. I know teaching isn't easy, but it is WAY easier than being in ministry. I think I will leave that option towards the end, only if my husband and I really get stuck for money.

I would like to explore other creative avenues. I have never had time to actually put into any of my creative endeavors. I have always had things in my way. For example, I have always wanted to write a book. I used to fill up journals with short stories, creative tales and whimsical characters. I have wanted for the past 5 years to participate in National Novel Writing Month, which happens each November, the goal to write 50,000 words in the month of a new story. The first two years I was in college, and let's face it, that is a horrible idea near the end of the semester. The next year, I was doing grad work towards my teaching credential and Masters, as well as working full time. The next year, I had no excuse, other than I totally forgot, and was enjoying newlywed bliss. Last year, I was due 11/13 and at first though I could do most if it while on maternity leave. I had a sweet friend remind me that I should not plan to do anything, but bond with my baby. Good call. However this year, not only do I not have an excuse, I even have the help of an extra day. I know its a crazy dream to write, and actually make any money doing so, but honestly, I am doing this for me as a creative outlet and if it goes beyond that to help support my family, awesome. If not, then I feel this outlet will help make me a better wife and mom, as I have actually done something for me.

I think I will also use some of the time to work on my house, and blogs, as well as craft and perhaps sell some of it on etsy and maybe make a few tutorials for youtube. Long story short, I'm going to look at this situation as a blessing of time, rather than a demotion and pay cut. I know that God will provide financially, as hard and difficult as it my be to make cuts to our already tight budget. I am choosing to look at this as an opportunity, a new chapter in my life to dabble in things that make me happy, to encourage and surround my soul with beauty that I am normally to busy to see or experience.

I am so blessed to have a husband who is going to help make this work, by keeping our son in daycare full time. The biggest problem is if we take him out of full time, there is a wait list of at least 3 kids right now to take is spot. There are also, no part time openings. This daycare is a home daycare, and is AMAZING. It is also the cheapest by far (we are talking by at least $500 per month), it would actually be more expensive for me to put him into another day care for 3 days a week rather than leaving him at this one full time. This will also allow me the flexibility to start subbing at any time we need to again, or if I find another secondary position. I am so thankful for his support in this, and am trying to come up with a way to at least make a little bit of money on the side to help out some more.

I would love for you to join me in prayer during the beginning of this new chapter in my life. Pray that God would continue to provide for our family (as He always has), and that I would follow His lead on how to spend my bonus day to enrich my life and soul in a way I have never taken the time before.

Thank you dear friends.

Life has been crazy. The main thing preventing me from blogging aside, from lack of time is the fact that my computer met an early demise. It was going to cost nearly half the price of a new one to fix, and so instead we chose to fix up my brother's old lap top on the cheap, but we have had internet issues and been unable to upload photo's this whole time. Now I'm hoping that I will be able to get back to blogging so here are just a few pics of what we have been up to.

Sharing some hot tamales with Grandpa